


and all that i regret (i have before, i will again)

by aditlep6



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 08:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18546136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aditlep6/pseuds/aditlep6
Summary: Robin regretfully lets Chrom land the final blow on Grima.





	and all that i regret (i have before, i will again)

**Author's Note:**

> my first fe awakening! this is being written on -16 hours of sleep so sorry in advance.
> 
> chrom and m!robin are in an established relationship, and i'm not fleshing out the logistics of lucina at 3am. i just felt like chrom and m!robin's dynamic fit this context better. it's 2019, people are gay steven
> 
> title is a lyric from "blood" by breaking benjamin
> 
> enjoy!!

The wind that threatened to knock the army upon the evil dragon’s back to the ocean below whipped through Robin’s hair as he stared a wicked reflection of himself down. Grima was slouched, panting, holding on to his last bit of life before a final blow would strike him down.  


Robin raised his tome as to finish it all, but caught Chrom’s flinch out of the corner of his eye.  


“Robin! No!”  


Robin’s mind had been made since Naga had informed the Shepherds of the ultimatum they were going to face. Robin did not value himself as highly as those whose lives this dragon would take, again and again in an unending cycle; all which could be stopped by a sacrifice.  


“I have to do this, Chrom! This is what we’ve been fighting for! We can end it all right now!” The wind, along with the roars of pain from the dragon, was nearly drowned by the blood rushing through Robin’s ears and the voice of the man he loved cutting across the battlefield.  


“I’m not losing you, Robin! We didn’t come all this way to part now!” Even from a distance, Chrom’s eyes were clearly wide and frantic. He was begging. After years of turmoil, pain, love, heartbreak, renewal, and joy, it all came down to this moment, and yet all Chrom wanted was Robin.  


His breathing sped up, but the world around Robin slowed down and his mind came to a halt. What a fool Chrom was to love the most integral piece of the game; to put himself at the highest risk of loss, to compromise his royal heart for the sake of a single mysterious man seemingly destined to ruin the world. A thousand memories flashed before Robin’s eyes, good and bad: the field, and Chrom’s strong arm raising him up as an equal without hesitation; the grace of Emmeryn’s fall; the haunting proclamation of the fallen Mad King; all fresh in Robin’s mind as his eyes focused intently on Chrom.  


“Robin?” Not as urgent, but still audible over the roar. Robin merely blinked. “Can I do it?”  


Without thinking and abandoning all of his rationalization, Robin gave a wide-eyed, stiff nod. 

~~~

The banquet hall of the castle was raucous with the cheers of the Shepherds, Chrom in the center. Pints of beer were in the hands of everyone that could be seen. Tears were shed by some of the most stoic soldiers and dances were had by the stiffest. It felt like the festivities would never end, especially to Robin.  


The pint handed to him had become lukewarm in his weak grasp, even with both hands. His stomach quivered horribly and he didn’t dare take a sip, even though all he wanted was to drink himself under the table and wipe all of the memories away. The final battle played in his mind on a loop and he could do nothing but regret with the entirety of his being.  


He distantly recognized Chrom commending him for a job well done and the following cheers, but his mind was cloudy as he stumbled out of the banquet hall and towards his and Chrom’s quarters. He decided some fresh air may help him regain himself, so he made way to the balcony attached to the bedroom that overlooked Ylisstol.  


The cold air somehow numbing him further, Robin looked over the city reverberating with celebration and joy all throughout the crowded streets. Holding tightly onto the railing, he looked over the Ylisseans and wondered if they knew what a coward he had been, and how their ancestors were destined to be murdered by the same dragon that they could have actually defeated-  


A gentle hand on his shoulder surprised him, but luckily shook him out of his reeling thoughts.  


“Robin? What are you doing up here? I thought you were celebrating with us,” Chrom questioned softly as he turned Robin around, only to see a sheen of cold sweat on a pale forehead. “Is everything alright?”  


“No,” Robin’s voice faltered. He unhesitatingly stepped forward into Chrom’s embrace, already prepared for him. Immediately, the tears came. Soft, pathetic wails that sounded more like a child’s than a grown man’s piercing the chill night air.  


Chrom guided Robin back inside the castle and sat him down at a seat at the tea table, kneeling in front of him instead of finding the other chair. His inquisitive eyes looked up as Robin sniffled and collected himself.  


“I don’t understand,” Chrom said after a quiet moment. Robin chuckled, bitter and incredulous.  


“Of course you don’t,” he laughed, “you didn’t even when Naga told us.”  


“What does that mean?” Chrom looked genuinely confused. Robin laughed again.  


“If I had killed Grima, he wouldn’t come back, and this would _actually_ be over. Everyone is celebrating my cowardice-“  
Chrom didn’t let him finish.  


“You know that isn’t true,” he explained sternly, “and you were under no obligation to kill yourself for the sake of others. You saved us, Robin. You saved all of us, and we’ll have the bonds that we share for the rest of our lives.”  


“But if I had-“ the tears were coming back and Robin choked on his words.  


“I know you wanted to sacrifice yourself to end the cycle,” Chrom sympathized, “but in no universe is it fair to place that burden on yourself. It wasn’t fair of Emm to bear her burden, or Lucina to bear hers. You had a choice, Robin, and it was nothing short of torture to make you choose that. I’m sorry that this all happened to you, but I want you here, no matter what ‘destiny’ you may have.” Chrom’s hand rose to Robin’s cheek and wiped away warm tears.  


“Thank you,” Robin began, “but another army is going to have to take down this dragon again in a few thousand years, and I just wish I would have used my ability to stop it.”  


“It’s happened before, it just happened now, and it’ll happen again,” Chrom agreed grimly, “but you know what always happens when the Fell Dragon comes back? Heroes rise up to stop it. Yes, there will be suffering and exhaustion, wounds and hits taken, and worlds like Lucina’s… but good will prevail. It always has, eventually, and I know it always will.” Robin managed a smile, and touched Chrom’s hand on his face with his own.  


"I think… I need some rest.” Chrom’s eyes lit up with happiness as he stood, but Robin turned his head. “But first, let’s dip into this champagne.” An ice bucket with a lone bottle of champagne sat on the tea table, presumably in celebration for the return of the heroes. Chrom smiled as he sat across from Robin and reached for two glasses.

~~~

Some days Robin’s guilt returned. He would look over the countryside and imagine it thousands of years from now in ruin, imagine his descendants and those of his friends fighting the same battles that they did and bearing the same scars, and shudder at his self-hatred. Still, those thoughts would shatter as Chrom wrapped his arms around him and he was reminded just how intensely he was loved, not only by Chrom, but by all of those who he had fought beside.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
